whyte-books’ blog

Chapter 67: Elise

2008-08-23T16:24:16Z

I stared blankly ahead. The moron in front of me had put his chair back so far, his head was practically in my lap. (And I usually enjoy that sort of thing!) "Sir," I said quietly. "Could you please put your seat to the upright position?" Bert s...

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Chapter 66: Elle

2008-08-20T02:00:48Z

"Make the noise stop!" I hadn't even bothered looking up from my book, as I expertly kicked Bert's chair from under the desk. He glared at me reproachfully. Ever since the bugger threw out my fags, I haven't bothered to be polite to him. "It...

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Chapter 65: Elise

2008-07-30T14:32:36Z

Elle was in a particularly bad mood when I came home from yoga with Bert. "Oh, Christ, now you're on drugs too?!" she exclaimed, tossing a book at me. "Yoga has nothing to do with drugs." I smiled and exhaled slowly. "It's like having sunshine in ...

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Chapter 64: Elle

2008-07-09T01:29:18Z

"Hey Elle," Elise yelled half-way across the self. "Wot?" I replied, hardly bothering to look up at her from the book I was trying to read. She bounded over to my desk and plopped herself into the chair next to me. "I've been thinking..." she st...

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Chapter 63: Elise

2008-07-03T13:57:58Z

"Let me get this straight," Inspector O'Hoolihan said in a thick Irish accent, peering at us all from under his hat. "This guy ran in, put a knife to 'dis here guy's troate, 'dis here lady hit 'im over d'head wid dis here fryin' pan and dats how ...

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Chapter 62: Elle

2008-06-15T04:16:10Z

Completely satisfied that that little shock of juice should have at least jolted the health inspector, I was getting out of the car when I heard Elise scream. I ran inside in time to see the Health Inspector holding one of my kitchen knives to ...

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Chapter 61: Elise

2008-05-29T14:04:52Z

"You are completely mad, aren't you?" I said, staring into the kitchen, duffel bag in hand. "Who do you think you are, Dr. Frankenstein?!" Elle didn't even look up from her weird little science project, holding the ends of a jumper cable in each ...

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Chapter 60: Elle

2008-05-19T04:34:45Z

Well, wouldn’t you be mad? I mean, who carries a bleeding flask full of water, for Christ’s sake? Anyroad, I stormed out of the shop, thinking desperately what I could do. Who dies from a blow to the back of the head, anyways? He was probably...

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Chapter 59: Elise

2008-05-15T13:38:07Z

That's it. We're all going to prison for murder. I'm going to be put in a cell with some large, butch lesbionic-type woman named "Chuck" and she's going to make me her plaything. Poor Bert. He looks like a woman half the time as it is! He won't la...

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Chapter 58: Elle

2008-04-23T01:37:15Z

Ha! Bernard thinks he can just open a restaurant/coffee shop! It's not that easy, trust me! I had to actually get my own chef's hat. Okay, maybe steal is a better word. Besides, I'm sure the restaurant next door won't miss it all that much. A...

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