1 post tagged “noise”

"Make the noise stop!"

I hadn't even bothered looking up from my book, as I expertly kicked Bert's chair from under the desk.  He glared at me reproachfully.  Ever since the bugger threw out my fags, I haven't bothered to be polite to him. 

"It'll be over soon, Elle."  Elise had been trying to reason with me since the infernal noise began yesterday.

"Why don't we do something?  I'm bored to death," Bert complained.  I looked up from my book.

"Why don't you go an see when the noise will stop?!" I yelled over the drilling.

"But I don't - " Bert was cut off by the sounds of the world collapsing.  Elise yelled a bit over the noise and finally Bert did go out to see when it would finally stop.

"The foreman said - " Bert began when he came back, but was cut off by the drilling noise across the street. After some failed attempts of communication, we relocated to a cafe further up the street, and Bert was finally able to tell us what he'd been told.

"He said they'd break for lunch soon, but after that it's going to get much worse," he said, sipping from a cappicino, creating a foamy moustache on his upper lip. 

"Well, what if we go do something.  It is Sunday, isn't it?" Elise asked.  I knew exactly what she had in mind, and I sure it didn't invlove Bert and I.

"Yes?" Bert replied eagerly.

"So why don't we go to the park?"

"The park?" I asked, gobsmacked.  "Why would you even suggest that?"

"What if we went to see a film?" Bert asked, clearly steering the conversation to safer waters.  He picked up a discarded paper from the table. "How about this one? 'London Fog.'  Michael Caine.  A used car salesman must race against the clock to find the next victim of a Jack the Ripper-esque killer from-"

"No, no," I groaned, ripping the paper out of his hands. "What's this? 'The Dangerous Six.' Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Penelope Cruz...blah blah...Six women who went boldly where no other women had gone in the Age of the Flappers.'  What rubbish is this?" I demanded, as Elise took the paper away from me.

"How about this one? 'Green Sounds.'  Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen with Mos Def," she read.

"Oh, they're cute.  Well, pre-rehab cute, I suppose," Bert replied.  I snorted.

"'A different POV from the new release, 'Blue's Tunes', this movie works from the side of sisters Sadie and Sabrina Green, rival music shop owners to that of Leonard Blue.  With the help of their drag queen assitant, Lady ZaZa..." Elise paused for some sort of dramatic affect (giving Bert enough time to giggle to himself),  "..the twins attempt to undermine Blue's Tunes and deal with their own personal issues.  From yelling matches between Sadie and Leonard, the love/hate relationship of Sabrina and Danny and the off-hand comments from Lady ZaZa, things are sure to be sizzling for this end of the summer's blockbuster!'  Pfft."

"Wankers," I replied.

"As if that could come anywhere close to being like real life!" Bert exclaimed.

"A child could write better!" Elise added, throwing down the paper in disgust. "They can't even come up with a good idea, they just feed off of pre-existing ideas, all laid out for them."

"Fill-in-the-blanks," I replied.

"Exactly!"

"I wonder how good Mos Def looks in drag?" Bert mused.

We trooped back to the shop, unsuccessful.  The noise had stopped briefly, so we were debating going out for dinner.  Finally after arguing over where we should go, we got ready to leave.

"I'll just run out and grab my purse from the car!" Bert said, running out of the shop quickly.

I looked to Elise and was about to ask, when she replied, "Penny's."

Bert came running back in in a headlong sprint.  He was waving an envolpe around and jibbering at the same time, making absolutely no sense.  Not that he usually does anyways.

"Fix him, would you?" I growled.  Elise nodded and slapped him on the face.

"There's a sign, Elle!  A sign!"

"They've finally found and have decided to come take you back to your home planet?" I asked, grabbing my purse out from under the desk.

"No, no!  It's says they're building across the street for the next 2 weeks!  What'll we do?" he exclaimed, doing a panicky dance.  Elise looked at me wide-eyed.

"We'll...we'll drink heavily.....shout at each other to drown out the sound!" I replied, realizing as I said it, how completely foolish that sounded.

"Well we won't be able to hear you, will we?" Elise shouted, as the noise began again.

"Wait! Wait!  Why don't we go away?" Bert exclaimed suddenly.

"No!  Absolutely not! I'm not going anywhere!" I replied, yelling louder, to be heard over the noise.

"It's a perfect excuse!" Elise agreed with him.

"And my mother just left 3 plane tickets to Sant Onaray in Penny's car as an early birthday present for meeee!"

"Shut up, where's the sign?" I asked, pushing Bert out of my way.

"Are you sure they're for you?" Elise asked skeptically as I stepped out the door, into the pouring rain.  I watched Bernard beat the sign with an umbrella before venturing over.  I ran across the street to where a little old woman was starring at the broken umbrella and tenner in her hands.

"'S'cuse me." I pushed her out my way to the sign.  I read it quickly.  Twice.